NORTH PLATTE, NEBRASKA — SEE THE RAINBOW, TASTE THE RAINBOW! Well, not to local taxidermist and self-proclaimed cannibal Jerry Karson. Karson has started a petition in his town to force Skittles to change its slogan.
“It’s blatant false advertising!” Says Karson. “I bought this candy with the promise that I would get to taste the flesh of a homosexual without the need to catch one. Needless to say, that is just not true.”
Karson’s petition has accumulated three signatures thus far: one from his mother and two from local chocolate vendors. Karson hopes that his petition will raise awareness for the rampant false advertising companies use to promote fad diets.
“These huge companies don’t consider how hard it is to maintain a healthy lifestyle.” Says Karson. “If you desire human meat, you need to know where you can get it. These companies promise you one thing and give you something completely different.”
After he finishes his campaign against Skittles, Karson plans on using his new publicity to take on the pop duo Hall and Oates over their song, “Maneater.”